Need
by ResilientWriterGirl
Summary: My take on a requested Tuckson smutshot. Angst. Smut. Tuckson love.


**A/N: Requested smutshot that I was more than happy to write. Pickle, this is for you, I hope I did your idea justice. (PS this is obviously rated M)** **Disclaimer: They aren't mine, yada yada yada. You know the drill.**

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The door slammed, rattling the pictures on the wall in the living room of Olivia's apartment. She dropped her purse without a care next to the coat rack and sighed, pausing to take a deep breath before her anger got the better of her.

Carefully choosing his words, Ed peered over his reading glasses, a newspaper and steaming cup of coffee in his hands, before speaking. "Rough morning?" Of course, the question was rhetorical, designed solely to get Liv to open up about whatever was clearly pissing her off.

Ed watched as she bit her lip in frustration, clearly unsure where she should begin, and he couldn't help but think that even now-even when she was mad as hell- she was incredibly sexy. Her hair, slightly longer than usual, skimmed her shoulders in tousled waves. He was positive that he'd never laid eyes on a more beautiful woman than Olivia Benson in the entirety of his life. Trying to focus, he shook the sensual thoughts from his mind and waited for her to choose a starting point. When the words didn't seem to form, he set down the coffee mug and newspaper, dropping his reading glasses on top of the _Times_ , before giving her all of his attention. _As if she didn't have it before_.

"Olivia, what's wrong? Did something happen with Noah?" She glanced at him quickly before letting out a harsh breath and walking through the apartment. Ed reached out and placed his hand on her arm, intent on stilling her for just a moment as she passed him. Wrenching herself out of his grasp, she continued on, otherwise ignoring him. He'd barely managed to squeak out a questioning mention of her name before she snapped.

"Not now Ed. I just... I can't do this right now."

There were very few times in his relationship with Olivia that she'd distanced herself like this, each time because she had faced so many difficult situations in life alone and had simply become accustomed to the overwhelming solitude. This knowledge did nothing to assuage his worry; in fact, knowing that she was pulling away made him worry even more. She wasn't alone now and definitely didn't have to face things without him.

Giving her a moment to collect herself, Ed decided to clean up the kitchen. Breakfast had been a success, pancakes at the request of Noah, but the dishes had yet to be washed. The countertop remained a sticky mess as well, so he busied himself with cleaning that first. The memory of that morning brought a soft smile to his lips. _Olivia was rarely home with him on mornings before preschool, so the young boy had deemed it a special day. "We have pancakes on special days Momma," he'd said. The adults had agreed, Noah happy as a clam that he got to have pancakes, but he wasn't completely satisfied with the morning's events. "I need more s'rup Momma." "Noah, you have enough syrup already." Her stern look had dissuaded him from the vocal pursuit of arguing, but his pout said it all. No sooner had Ed and Olivia turned their backs to get coffee when he'd grabbed the bottle and poured more onto his already saturated breakfast. It took everything in Ed not to laugh at Noah's innocent facial expression in response to his mother's admonition. Despite her outward dismay, Ed saw the hidden smile in her eyes knowing she was happy to be at home with her son._

Lost in the memory, Ed hadn't realized he'd cleaned the kitchen and finished washing the dishes until he heard banging coming from the bedroom. Liv narrowly escaped his gaze when he entered, realizing she'd thrown something across the room. A heavy sigh escaped while she buried her head in her hands, still sitting at the edge of the bed.

Shocked at her behavior, Ed took in the disheveled sight of his usually calm and collected girlfriend. Her eyes were ripe with unshed tears and her cheeks were flushed. Other than the sound of breathing, silence filled the space. A whirlwind of emotions were contained within just two people begging, pleading to be set free. Anger, hurt, sadness, confusion, lust, no feeling deliberately louder than the rest, but each growing within their small confines, pushing the boundaries of the quiet, ready to explode.

Taking a small step in her direction, Ed let out a heavy breath, fully knowing she was about to push him away, steadying himself for the inevitable betrayal. She'd promised him she would let him in, let him see every part of her, even the darkest parts of her soul, but here she was trying to go it alone. Ed logically knew that she was doing her best to keep true to her word, but logic had no part of him right now. Instead, emotions ruled his being and he was hurt, more so than he'd ever thought possible from a lack of communication. He felt the walls between them once again, the same walls that he'd carefully spent time knocking down and scaling until he reached her. It was as if she was suddenly on one side of the ocean and he was on another, each left without a boat or a plane, but she turned away while he fought against the raging waves to reach her.

"Olivia," he rasped, not quite sure how to get her to actually listen. "What is going on with you? Talk to me."

Tucker watched the anger and irritation flash in her normally kind eyes, bracing himself for the impact of the harsh words about to be hurled his way.

"Drop it. We're not discussing this," she seethed, quickly standing and storming past him, just out of reach. Not one to give up easily, Ed followed suit and stopped behind her, staring her in the eyes when she turned to face him.

"We are discussing this Olivia." Her eyes narrowed in response to his steely gaze, a sharp retort dancing on her lips when his eyes softened. She wasn't immune to him, though she tried to be, and his blue eyes were full of love. Dropping her eyes from his, she moved to turn away, but Ed was faster, reaching down and capturing her wrists in his hands.

"Olivia," he warned.

Finally matching his gaze, her jaw clenched. "Let. Go. Of. Me." He made no move to let up. Instead, a small smirk appeared on his face while he watched the anger ignite her once again. "Ed. Now."

"No." The word echoed throughout the bathroom and the sight of his smirk simultaneously made Olivia want to throw him out on his ass and fuck him senseless. _The things that man could do to her._ Letting her initial reaction win, she wrenched her hands from his wrists and turned away from him, only to be pinned against the counter.

Bending down slightly, Ed spoke against her ear, his breaths tickling her neck, causing an involuntary shudder.

"I'm not going anywhere Oliva. Talk to me."

"Get. The. Fuck. Off." She was infuriated, turned on, and at an impossible disadvantage. With Ed behind her, she felt the warmth of his body pushing up firmly against hers.

Pressing harder against her he whispered, "Make me." Neither could deny the physical ramifications of their position. The final straw came when she felt Ed nibble on her ear lobe after he spoke. Her moan was unmistakable while she removed her hands from the countertop and reached behind her to pull Ed even closer. Taking one hand off the counter, now that he was sure she wasn't going anywhere, his fingers trailed her shirt upwards, his hand splayed across her stomach. Olivia's skin was on fire as he touched her in the most simplistic of ways, the hand displaying his possessive hold on her as she felt his hardness pressing against her backside. With every touch and caress she drifted further from anger, instead giving in to the heady arousal.

Ed shifted again, this time one hand slowly making its way to her inner thigh as the other drifted upward, capturing her breast with his rough hand. Desire coursed through her body with each subtle touch. Every movement on Ed's part was gentle and calculated; he hadn't been expecting a protesting groan as he took his time showing her his love in his roaming progression.

"Fuck me Ed." The words left him utterly stunned. Olivia rarely approached sex in such a carnal, animalistic way; they were used to taking their time, exploring each other, and bringing the other to ultimate pleasure while being emotionally connected. This time was different. She wanted him and let him know, but her eyes found his in the mirror and he saw her desire; she was the hunter and he was the hunted.

"Olivia..." he stammered, torn between giving her exactly what she was begging for and showing her the depths of his love.

"Ed. I need you. Fuck me." Her voice was commanding, clear and steady, her eyes fixed on him in the mirror. He let out a groan as he felt her hands rubbing up and down the front of his thighs, her gaze never leaving his. Pushing her hands away, he ripped her deep purple blouse over her head, throwing it haphazardly somewhere on the floor, more than eager to show her exactly how much of an effect she had on him. His own shirt followed soon after. The sound of his zipper sent an excited thrill coursing through Olivia's veins and she dropped her form-fitting jeans to the floor, her belt clinking against the tile.

Kicking their pants away, Ed got to work on her body, nipping at the skin behind her ear, eliciting soft moans from the brunette. Instead of the gentle actions from before, his hands were harsh against her flesh, kneading her breasts and pressing his erection into her backside. He was impossibly hard, eager to be buried deep inside of her warmth. Rather than acting on his own desire, he teased her in every way. His fingers danced on her inner thighs, teetering so close to her center, but ultimately avoiding it. Sensing her frustration, he let out a chuckle. If looks could kill, he'd be long gone, but her glare just egged him on. In an effort to control of the situation, Olivia placed her hand on top of his, intertwining their fingers, dragging their combined hands up her thigh and into her panties. Soft curse words and heavy breaths filled the small space of the bathroom, creating an erotic atmosphere. They were lost in each other and he wasn't even inside her yet.

She gasped as he tore the black scrap of material from between her thighs, so caught up in the anticipation that she didn't notice he was now fully naked standing behind her.

Rubbing his hardness against her folds, he couldn't keep quiet. "Jesus Liv. You're so wet for me baby." If anyone else had spoken those words, she'd be out of there before he could pull up his pants, but it was Ed. He was the only one who could ever make her body respond so quickly and intensely, the only one she trusted enough to let him have her in every sense.

"Stop teasing me and fuck me alr-ugh." He pushed inside her tight heat without warning, recognizing the novelty of being buried in her would never wear off. Each time was just as incredible as the first time, every moment with Olivia new and exciting. She grasped the counter, holding on for dear life as he set an agonizingly perfect pace. Each thrust was deep and hard, his hands digging into her hips as he grunted in her ear.

"Like that baby? Is this what you want? Me buried deep inside you?" Ed's husky voice sent ripples through her body. She bit down on her lip, attempting to stifle the guttural moans and whimpers that were sure to escape. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't keep quiet and Ed was revelling in his ability to bring her to the absolute brink of pleasure. Her walls clenched around him as he continued driving in and out of her until he was finally fully sheathed within her.

Olivia screamed in ecstasy feeling his pelvis against her ass. "Fuck yes. Right there. Oh god yes Ed!" Her body was on fire beneath his as he draped himself over her. His chest was flush against her back, one hand still gripping her hip so he could continue his pace. The other found a nipple and tugged, flicked, and rubbed at it, responding to her vocal cues.

She shattered around him, cursing and gasping for breath. Tucker slowed his pace as she rode out her orgasm, not wanting to completely overwhelm her just yet. He kissed the top of her shoulder before trailing his mouth to her neck. Their bodies were slick with sweat and he tasted the salt on her skin deciding then that he'd never have enough. Coming down from the high, she relaxed into the new pace for just a moment. Her eyes that had closed sometime during the intoxicating rush, opened when he tugged on her hair, carefully pulling her head backwards to capture her mouth with his for the first time since she'd returned home. Olivia willingly gave in to the contact, pleasantly surprised at his actions.

"More," she commanded the moment their lips parted. Happy to oblige, he guided one of her legs up onto the counter, spreading her open for him. The new position caused him to hit deeper inside her, both loving every new sensation. "Mmm harder."

This time as he set the pace he was raw, animalistic in his thrusts. Each intrusion caused grunts and moans on top the sounds of slapping flesh against flesh; Liv whimpered as she threw her head back onto his shoulder. Ed was more than happy to hold her up as he continued to pound into her. With each move, her thigh was pushed into the sink counter and she knew she'd have bruises later, but the thoughts were fleeting; a part of her was turned on by the fact that she'd be marked, branded by what they were doing in that moment. Not one to remain idle, she slammed her hips back against him, meeting him in every thrust, every movement of their bodies connecting an integrated effort by both parties.

Bringing an arm behind her, she snaked it around the back of Ed's neck, her nails scraping against his skin as she tried to bring him closer. They were moving as one, taking care of their combined needs while fighting the urge to come. Ed dropped his hips lower before pushing up inside her, now knocking against her clit.

"Fuck!" she gasped.

"God Liv. Yes baby."

Their pace was vigorous and excruciating while he continued to fill her from behind for the first time. He'd almost turned her around earlier but the look in her eyes told him exactly what he needed to know: she wanted him to take her, over and over until they were both completely and utterly spent, and that meant drilling into her with every ounce of energy he had. The time for slow love-making was later, that could happen after they talked.

"Ohmygod Ed yes right there! YES!" Her shrieks filled the apartment and he was sure the neighbors had no problem hearing every gasp of breath. The time for quiet had long passed. Her engorged clit begged to be touched and the second that Ed's fingers found the nub, Olivia had to steady herself. Her hand smashed against the mirror with a thud as his driving thrusts caused her legs to tremble.

"That's it baby. Come for me," he practically begged, speaking against her ear, knowing he wasn't far behind at all. "God yes. Come so hard around me Liv. I know you want to come for me." His words were low and rasping, breathy from the hurried actions.

"Oh Ed fuck yes! Ohmygod UGH!" Her body hummed against his, her legs shaking and unsteady as she blew apart.

As her head fell forward, he tugged on her hair, pulling it back before informing, "No. I want you to look at me while you come." Her tight, velvety walls squeezed his cock, triggering his own release as he wrapped his arms around her torso, holding her against him; his body pulsed as he spilled into her over and over until there was nothing left to give. Slumping over her, completely spent, they both tried to catch their breath.

Ed slowly and carefully pulled out, feeling their combined fluids run down her inner thighs as he relented his iron-clad grip on Liv.

Olivia turned to face him and fell into his arms, exhausted but satisfied. Their embrace seemed to last forever but was only seconds in reality, both lost in their thoughts. _He feels like home...he **is** my home._ _My god I love her. Please let her talk to me and not run away._ Let's get cleaned up Liv," he murmered against the crown of her head.

Following his lead, she stepped under the warm spray of the shower and let him wash her body. Massaging her back with her favorite jasmine-scented body wash, Ed breathed in her scent and tried to memorize every detail of the moment. She relaxed into his touch and reciprocated the effort he'd made when the time came. They showered in silence, neither feeling the need to speak.

When she turned to face him, he reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear before leaning in to capture her lips. They kissed languidly, contented to be with one another, pouring all their affections into the kiss.

Eventually they left the warmth of the shower and returned to their bedroom to get dressed, still in silence. While Ed was trying to figure out how he was going to get her to open up, Liv was readying herself for the conversation.

She took control of the situation and grabbed his hand, leading him to sit on the edge of the bed with her.

He watched the struggle play across her face and lovingly rubbed her back, essentially letting her know he was there while still giving her space to decide where to begin.

"Am I a bad mom, Ed?" Her voice was unsteady, shaky, barely audible.

Shocked at her question, he turned to face her head on. "Olivia where is this coming from? You're an amazing mom, an incredible woman with a huge heart. You'd do anything for Noah. You... you are the mom that most kids wish for. Noah is the luckiest little boy in the world to have you."

"This morning when I dropped Noah off..." her tears began to spill as she trailed off, unable to continue.

"Liv, what happened this morning?" Tucker pushed gently.

She swallowed, "When I dropped Noah off this morning I overheard some of the moms talking about Mason's mom. They were going on and on about how horrible Shelly is because she never takes Mason to school, and how she's a workaholic." Before Ed interrupted, she held up a hand to stop him. Closing his mouth, he let her continue. "So they saw me and then said how lucky Noah was that he didn't have to deal with that because Lucy _always_ drops him and picks him up. And then another mom asked me if Noah's _mom_ had an appointment and that's why she wasn't there..." By the end, her voice was a mere whisper and the tears were flowing in full force down her tanned skin.

"Oh Liv, come here." Pulling her into a comforting hug, he spoke against her hair, "Baby you are such a good mom. Just because those women are ignorant busybodies doesn't mean you are a bad mother. They don't know you, and they don't know Noah. Why are you still working at SVU, Liv? Because the victims, those people that you help in every way you can, those people are somebody's children. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you didn't do everything in your power to help others, Olivia. It's just who you are baby. You are there for the victims and you're there for Noah and me."

Wiping a tear from under her eye, Ed pressed his forehead against hers. "You, Olivia Margaret Benson, are an amazing mother. Nothing that anybody says will ever change that. Don't doubt yourself, and if you do, don't doubt me."

"Thank you Ed. I'm sorry for-"

"No," he cut her off. "You have nothing to apologize for." She gave him a small smile and his heart clenched in his chest. "Now, how about we just take a nap here? We're both exhausted, and not that I'm complaining, because it was incredible, but I'm not as young as I used to be. I need rest." She laughed softly and nodded before pulling him into a chaste kiss.

As they settled beneath the blankets, she nuzzled into his chest.

"I love you," he mumbled.

"Love you too. And Ed?" He opened an eye and peered down. "Next time I need you like that, remind me that beds are a lot softer than counters."

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 **thoughts? requests? let me know!**


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